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Portales
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The Lizard With No Pants

XVII
Through deep snow I traveled, through a harsh blizzard,
To find shelter in a cave, it was occupied by a giant green lizard.
The lizard did not speak, it just stared as if in a hypnotic trance,
Then I noticed the unmentionable, the lizard was wearing no pants.

Oh it had lots of scales, claws, a tail, and an ugly gizzard,
Turns out it wasn’t just any reptile, it was Mezano, the wizard.
I had to ask myself this question, if I were given the chance,
If I had the magical ability, would I walk around with no pants?

XVIII
Certainly not it’s indecent, though lizard hide is covered in scale,
Surely Captain Hillar would have me arrested, I’de be thrown in jail.
Transmutation magic has always been known as the art of change,
With word and a gesture your features will begin to rearrange.

If I were to ever cast such a spell, undoubtably I would fail,
Instead of becoming a lizard, I would end up as a slimy snail.
No thank you, I will keep my own bit of magic, I won’t exchange,
Changing into a naked lizard, HA! We all know wizards are strange.

*All script is hastily scrawled in an illegible (and incredibly lazy) handwriting (if you can call it that).