Home › Forums › Markshire’s Who’s Who › PC Biographies › Portales Penmanship; Excerpts from an Illegible Epic › Reply To: Portales Penmanship; Excerpts from an Illegible Epic
- Markshire PCs:
Sar and the Plum Bandits
I raised the alarm, I warned them, and tried to get them to come,
To stop to these awful bandits, who’s leader, smelled like a plum.
But Panitha, Sun and Kayla ignored me, just continued to chat,
“Bandits stealing plums, Portales who would believe that?”
They thought my tale of caution was unbelievably dumb,
They prefered conversing, instead of stopping these scumb.
Yakking about nonsense, animals, a bear, a wolf and even a cat,
I’d had enough of this yapping, so I stomped off like a brat.
I went to the Red Dragon with the hopes of a hero I could find,
A famous inn where the brave and hearty come to unwind.
Storming into the place, the door opened with a loud clunk,
Looking around, the inn was nearly empty, who would have thunk.
Once again, I met with a fellow musician, our paths intertwined,
He recounted his tale, then I asked around for help, most declined.
I’de have been happy with a warrior, an archer, or even a monk,
But instead, I ended up with a slurring wizard, who was drunk.
Mezano and I left the Red Dragon Inn, heading for the road,
Traveling with an intoxicated wizard, your progress is slowed.
And then my prayers were answered, a hero stood near the gate,
It was mighty Sar Khan, who was sober, surely this was fate.
Hearing of the bandits he joined us, his presence he bestowed,
This had the makings of an epic poem or atleast an ode.
Unbelievably, Panitha and Sun continued to talk and debate,
They finally joined us, a formidable band I helped create.
As we traveled Mezano continued to drink ale, as did Sun,
I suppose that’s not too unusual, for Pirates drinking is fun.
They belched loudly and they burped as we trotted along,
They left a trail of ale bottles, some might see that as wrong.
Mezano chugged bottle after bottle and Sun would not be outdone,
While the wizard was stumbling a bit, she had only just begun.
When traveling some might read, converse or even sing a song,
But getting plastered? On the road some habits don’t belong.
We eventually reached the Candlewax Inn, our goal was in sight,
Sar pulled out his mighty hammer, he is always ready for a fight.
Everyone searched the grounds, but I found the front door ajar,
We went in, the drunks too, perhaps they thought it was a bar.
As they battled the hordes of bandits, I stopped so I could write,
Sar struck down the plum smelling leader with all of his might.
Luckily Mezano, didn’t miss with his spells, he couldn’t see very far,
And none of us would be able to eat a plum today, if not for Sar.
*All script is hastily scrawled in an illegible (and incredibly lazy) handwriting (if you can call it that).