Reply To: Keli… short for Keli

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She’s sitting on a rickety hardwood bench beside the little table she works at when writing her bio. In her lap is a gift Port gave to her, weeks ago. A fine helm, hammered out with great care, from a rare, luminous yellow ore.

Sections of it dyed a deep purple and polished to a high luster, with golden rivets perfectly spaced around its sides and back, running up to the top, securing heavier strips of some unknown exotic metal, giving it great strength.

And with the words, “Headband of Intellect” emblazoned in bold letters across its visor. Truly a work of art! She’s looking intently at it and she senses a powerful magic emanating from within and she’s debating whether or not she should slip it on.

Now why the hel would that conivin’ little gnome be givin’ a thing like this to me? Mayhap beause he likes me? But . . . if I put it on, I’m thinkin’ its supposed to make me into somethin’ . . . well, different from what I is now. Will he still be likin’ me then?

Oh geez! Or . . . by givin’ this helm to me, is he implyin’ that he don’t like me the way I is and he’d be feelin’ better ‘bout me if I changed a bit?

Well damn that little twerp! Sittin’ here tryin’ ta figure all o’ this out is givin’ me a headache! I ain’t knowin’ what the hel was in Port’s mind when he give this to me, and I ain’t carin’ anyways! But . . . if I put it on there might be a number or two inside what I could learn about, ya know? It’d be worth it to try. I’m always wantin’ to learn somethin’ ‘bout numbers!

She picks up the helm and places it on her head.

Oh . . . ohhh OH! OHH GEEZZZ!

Boggle, Boggle, Boggle! Alhoon, alhoon, alhoon! Sarcophagus, sarcophagus, sarcophagus! And . . . E=mc2 . . . and . . . a photon is just an electron traveling backward in time!

She quickly removes the helm and tosses it into a far corner of the room.

Eeee! What the hel was that! Well . . . just what I thought! A worthless piece o’ junk he give me! All full o’ gabble cloudin’ up me thinkin’ and it ain’t had even one number in it I could recognize! Its only good fer one thing! I’ll make a planter outta it! Yup! Gonna get me some dirt and a few seeds and soon I’ll be growin’ me very own tobacco!