- Markshire PCs:
. I was hangin’ ‘round outside the Temple in Foothold last night with Sunny, Tam and Raven just shootin’ the breeze when a dwarf I ain’t never seen before, saunters up to where we was standin’.
The little man was well-mannered, acknowleging us with a proper bow and a warm smile. We said hello to him and introduced ourselves. He told us his name was Hermie, or somethin’ like that. I ain’t too good rememberin’ names. He said he hadn’t been to this part o’ Markshire in quite awhile.
While we talked I noticed his military pick what he kept twiddlin’at and I suspected at one time or another he’d belonged to a militia or some kind o’ army. He had the look o’ someone who’d journeyed long and hard from someplace far away because his clothes was a bit ragged and his armor tarnished.
But he was polite, seein’ he was a man, and he reminded me o’ Durok a little. Both he and Durok had the same sparkle in their eyes so, straight off, I decided I liked him! At least until he’d be doin’ somethin’ awful what would make me change my mind, you know?
Anyways, he asked us where he might be findin’ a blacksmith and we pointed out the entrance to the bazaar up on the hill what lay beyond. In there he could find just about anything he might be needin’ including’ a master blacksmith. We also told him ‘bout the Dragon Inn, where he could buy a decent meal for a fair price, ‘cause he looked to us as though he could really use one!
So off he went, smiling’ and bowing’ to us one more time, which I thought was so nice!
With Henry gone the conversation started up again with Sunny askin’ me about the . . . things she made for me awhile back, and had I tried each one o’ them out yet? I told her I’d worn every one except for the pair she made out o’ leather cause I ain’t got no idea how to go about washin’ leather . . .things! Tam laughed at that and suggested I use saddle soap.
Well, between you and me, I ain’t even asked her to make me any leather . . . things, and I ain’t got no idea why she done it. I guess she’d run out o’ silk. Anyhow, straight off, Raven and Tam was wantin’ to know what the . . . things was, and could they see the . . . things, and what colors did Sunny make, and was they comfortable and not binding, and where did Sunny sew on the monogram, and oh geez, they went on and on like that for what seemed like an hour!
Finally Tam and Raven decided before they’d go about placing’ an order with Sunny for any . . . things for themselves, they wanted to see what I looked like wearin’ them! Then Sunny chimed in, agreeing’ with the both of them, tellin’ me it would be a grand idea ‘cause she’d have a good chance to show off her merchandise on a real live model!
Ohhh geez! I remember not too long ago, back home in the village I come from, havin pajama parties every so often with the rest o’ my girlfriends! Yup! We’d be runnin’ all over the house, screamin’ and laughin’ carryin’ on like a bunch o’ maniacs and havin’ a grand time whackin’ at each other with huge down filled pillows, never thinkin’ for one moment ‘bout what we was wearin’ . . . or what we wasn’t!
But this was different, you know? Now don’t get me wrong and I can’t exactly put my finger on the why of it, but there’s somethin’ about those three . . . and the thought o’ paradin’ around in front of them wearin’ hardly nothin’ at all . . . Well it was givin’ me a nervous stomach!
They said they was even gonna build a ramp for me to traipse up and down, and Sonny knew a cobbler what could make me a pair o’ shoes with pointy heels stuck on ‘em so I’d look as though I was walkin’ ‘round on my tiptoes and that was that!
After all that gabbin’’ we was thirsty so the four of us made our way to the Dragon Inn, found a table and we sat there drinkin’for the rest o’ the night. We seen Howie one more time. He came in late, loaded up with the new gear he’d bought in the shops we’d told him about, and before he left our table he sang us a lovely ballad!
It was late for me too, and I said my goodnights to everyone and walked out the door. Oh geez! Who do I meet on my way home but Loli Elgyr! You know that old lady monk with the wart on her nose and one short leg?
Well, anyways, we get to talkin’ and I tell her all about the plans what Sunny, Raven and Tam is makin’ to have me model my . . . things for ‘em and how the thought o’ doin’ it is givin’ me a nervous tummy!
Well, glory be! She tells me she’s always wanted to try her hand at modeling, and she’d be glad to do it for me! I gave her a big hug, and except for the ones I was wearin’, I dug down into my pack and pulled out the rest o’ my . . . things and handed them to her! She looked at them a moment, then looked at my waist, and the rest o’ me, then looked down at herself and began to shake her head. I snatched a pair back from her and began to stretch ’em out till my arms were as wide apart as they would go. “Do you see Loli? Sunny wove Spandex into the silk!
You’re able stretch ‘em out so far you’d be able to cram a horse into them! Not that I think you’re anywhere near the size o’ a horse, mind you! And look!” I let one end go and they snapped back into shape with a twang. “You see? One size fits all!”
Her face lit up with a smile and my nervous tummy ain’t bothered me no more, and I went home to bed, knowin’ I’d be dreamin’ about Loli, scootin’ up and down that ramp, twirlin and twistin’ and giving those three girls a show, the likes o’ which they’d never seen before!