- April 22, 2008 at 12:06 am #55464
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part I Dire Rat Fear**
There were few patrons at the bar, but the inn was fully staffed,
We all sat in the private room drinking our wine and draught.
I was not drunk, I assure you, as I was only drinking herbal tea,
Five of us there were in total; Durok, Belferon, Kel, Lipitom and me.
Just as I finished telling a joke, everyone but the dwarf laughed,
Two gripplis entered and told us of their dying tree of giving shaft.
Searching the land for Sar or any other hero by their own decree,
“Kel is a hero, she will get the shaft,” I exclaimed, “this I guarantee.”
As the grippli brothers explained things, I began to understand,
It seemed their trouble was great and their need oh so grand.
No more shafts of wood their precious giving tree would spawn,
And the grippli shaman who could help the tree, was now gone.
It seemed all of our roles, even mine, were beginning to expand,
We had to save the tree and find the shaman lost in the highland.
Of course the patrons would help, that conclusion was forgone,
And so the four brave heroes and Durok set out, just before dawn.
We traveled north of Cona, through dusty rock and slippery ice,
And through a hardened frozen wall Kel’s magical sword did slice.
We weaved a path through a rocky maze, there were no signs,
Difficult to see, until I lit my lantern, through the darkness it shines.
Sun had now joined us, so there were six of us to be precise,
Wandering in the ever narrowing canyons, a great tightening vice.
We made our way to an ice covered cave, past the Cona mines,
The cave was eerily empty, save for the killer assassin vines.
Then to the tundra we traveled, where ground is hard and flat,
Where all are ruled by the dragon and their masters, the evil rat.
We were beset by dragons, from the sky they began to appear,
Never have I seen so many beasts together in all my bardic career.
Kel, Belferon and Durok charged forward to engange in combat,
All of a sudden I started shaking, don’t remember much after that.
I was told later my skin went pale and my eyes began to tear,
Yes I had fallen victim to the worst kind of terror, dire rat fear.
I regained my wits, luckily I was not completely overcome,
You must confront your deepest fear, you can never succumb.
And so I had narrowly slipped my fragile neck from the noose,
Earlier I’de sold my lesser belt of guiding light, I had no excuse.
Seemed the more perilous things had gotten, further we had come,
Many wyrms fell, as dragon slayers my companions had all become.
And then in the tundra, fishing in a pond, we found that old recluse,
Said he would help us too, if 13 bags of firewood we could produce.
*All script is hastily scrawled in an illegible (and incredibly lazy) handwriting (if you can call it that).
**The name Kel is crossed outApril 22, 2008 at 12:27 am #55465
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part II The Dying Life Giving Tree of Riddles
Once again, in the mild (it wasn’t that cold) tundra we all stood,
We were all surrounded I tell you…by miners packs full of wood.
Slowly he gathered it all up, that grippli shaman named Frank,
To all of US who had contributed he was absolutely sure to thank.
Frank agreed to come see the shaft giving tree, just as he should,
Then he turned himself into a flea, becoming as small as he could.
He lept into Kel’s pack, because I’m sure that Durok’s was dank,
He just looks dirty and certainly has his own unmistakable stank.
Sar’s Heroes, minus Sar, fought there way through a dragon horde,
Did my best, while dodging claws, to write things down and record.
Surprisingly no rats this time, the dragons were still very bold,
During that battle with the white wryms, true valor I did behold,
Belferon, bleeding profusely continued fighting, his injuries ignored,
He staggered, but did not give ground swinging his acidic sword.
After killing many Belferon actually did fall, if the truth must be told,
He was raised from a scroll, wasn’t me though, they cost too much gold.
We safely made it out of the tundra and then we headed down,
Traveled past the mines and took the ship from the Cona Town.
The ship sailed to Stonemark where the air is much less chilled,
They tried to get me to work on the ship, told them I was unskilled.
We passed through Stonemark where the Mark wears the crown,
I myself have a following there, I have gained some small renown.
On the Spinehold Road I sang the entire time, everyone was thrilled,
Unfortunately my singing attracted bandits, and poor Monty was killed.
Filled with rage, Durok embarked on a forest bandit killing spree,
I’ve tried to get along with him, but we never seem to agree.
Durok likes to move things very quickly he won’t let us piddle,
Me, I take my time, so I can strum on my lute, or pluck my fiddle.
With the dwarf prodding we made it to the grippli life giving tree,
Out of Kel’s pack popped Frank, changning to a grippli from a flea.
The grippli encircled the tree and Frank walked right to the middle,
He spoke with the tree shortly, he said the tree told him this riddle;
The roots of history shorten,
Tools seed the past are lost,
Cats maybe combed again,
Death nurses off they future,
Sirens of the forest stand over the lost.
The grippli told the others of their need for vegetable and fruit,
I worked on the riddle naturally because I am quite astute.
Frank then decided to tell us about the lost grippli history book,
Hidden in thw Winter Tower in the Cona Mountains, worth a look.
The grippli’s gave us some supplies as we discussed the route,
It seemed that the sneaky Lipitom had made off with all the loot.
What a shame, the last of the grippli arrows and kits he had took,
I always knew he was a sneaky one, but I never thought a crook.
As Lipitom disappeared I tried to catch him with a hold person spell,
Asked him four times to share, but he was up to no good, I could tell.
Do you believe Sun accused me of making him disappear in the fog,
Our traveling plans to the tower were now stuck, by a giant clog.
I tried to explain to Sun that spells can help, can make you excel,
Cast bull’s strength on her and she attempted to send me to Hel.
What should I expect from a former pirate, a former salty dog,
I saw no reason to fight, casting greater invisibility, away I began to jog.
*All script is hastily scrawled in an illegible (and incredibly lazy) handwriting (if you can call it that).April 22, 2008 at 12:27 am #55466
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part II The Dying Life Giving Tree of Riddles:Part II Lost History Found
I prefer not traveling with the unheroic type, rather go at it alone,
All the heroes were gone and this trip I would not postpone.
Of all the souls I’ve encountered, true heroes there are few,
Who knows someday I maybe a hero, you laugh? could come true.
I traveled far into the ice covered peaks into the frozen unknown,
To prove that I am not “worthless”, so that I may someday atone.
Up the snow covered peaks to the tower, made it all the way through,
And recovered that lost book, entitled “A Grippli History Volume Two.”
*All script is hastily scrawled in an illegible (and incredibly lazy) handwriting (if you can call it that).April 22, 2008 at 12:27 am #55467
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part III The Staff in the Chasm
Though I was not present, I am recording this tale on their behalf,
A relliable source told me Sun and Kamas recovered the grippli staff.
Belferon was given my history book, through the pages he turned,
And of the location of the grippli staff Kamas and Sun had learned.
This staff is very import you see, surely you would not laugh,
I cannot say exactly why, I did not read the entire book, only half.
Afterwards I did see the staff, though I was a little concerned,
After all the work I’d put into it, that my book did not get returned.April 22, 2008 at 12:28 am #55468
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part IV The Root of the Problem
The wind whipped at our group with terrible howling sound,
Using all of his might Frank plunged the staff in to the ground.
The clouds became darker and streaks of lightning began to arrive,
And from the ground tentacle-like roots squirmed and came alive.
Bursting through soil, around us the black roots began to surround,
At the base of the great tree a hole had formed, perfectly round.
Suddenly we were under attack, I did what I had to do to survive,
Not wanting to be a wild animal’s supper, in to the hole I did dive.
Through my decisive actions, I have no doubt, my life I did save,
I landed on my behind on to solid rock, OUCH! I’de lept into a cave.
It seemed our situation had not improved, we were now in a maze,
Which way do we go? Too many choices, too many different ways.
Then I smelt it, the sickness came over me in one nauseating wave,
Stinky beetles! Clean air to our noses they intended to deprave.
We battled through the beetles and their accompanying yellow haze,
The journey then took an unexpected turn, we entered a different phase.
A place where only brains could triumph, and not the sword,
Challenged to answer a riddle, safe passage would be our reward.
Before us a short shirtless man, with hairly legs and hooven feet,
He spoke to us this riddle, thinking his words we could not defeat.
“What happens twice in a millenium,
Once in a lifetime,
And never in a thousand years?”
I thought and thought, I tried to buy as much time as I could afford,
Looking around at my companions for help, they looked stumped and bored.
Thinking out loud, I blured “the letter L”, my thoughts incomplete,
I solved the riddled, and we passed. My victory was small, but sweet.
We continued into the cave, the rugged land we were traversing,
Of course, continuing my singing, I like to think of it as rehearsing.
It can be challenging when singing, and others are trying to kill you,
So I sang, Sun-Ok battled, and Kel left us a trail of tobacco chew.
Then a sight to behold, as we immediately silenced our conversing,
There sucking on the roots of the tree a giant beetle, and it was nursing.
It’s rock hard skin stopped all our attacks, there was nothing we could do,
What could stop the monster from killing the tree, I don’t have a clue.April 22, 2008 at 12:28 am #55469
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part V Akhulfiich’s Biich
Oh wise Grippli Shaman Frank, how can we destroy the evil bug?
Frank’s advice was to feed it poison or use some kind of drug.
So once again we collected his ingredients, some were rather rare,
But Frank asked for a bunch of these stones, he doesn’t really care.
At this point I was still sleeping in my bed roll nice and snug,
Everyone headed to MacGregor’s Ranch, but I fell behind like a slug.
I later agreed to go with them, there destination I was unaware,
I would soon find out we were heading to the Dragon Akhulfiich’s lair.
I was really thrown to the wolves or dragons in this particular case,
My agreement to join these dwarves and men I wish I could erase.
Kel, Belferon, Traudek, Walis and Durok are by no means unskilled,
I was getting the sneaking suspicion they were trying to get me killed.
Lead us through the dragon’s cave and sing, your destiny embrace,
Don’t forget, walk towards the dragon at a leasurely, but brisk pace.
With fear and overwhelming terror my beating heart was filled,
Did I mention that I thought they were all trying to get me killed!
As I trudged along, I sang a ballad that I’de made up in my head,
With each step I’d hear the dragon’s breath, increasing my dread.
Everyone is good at something, unfortunately singing is my niche,
Yes I am able to sing the correct notes at just the perfect pitch.
Suddenly I was, face to face with the dragon, spikes on his head,
Snow white scales, razor sharp claws, and his eyes were blood red.
The ferocious ancient wrym of Thrym Pass, the mighty Akhulphiich!
Trying to be brave, but sweating profusely, my face gave a slight twitch.
The walls shook as he spoke, “Who is that? Singing in my home.”
My voice cracked, “It is I Portales Penmanship, a singing gnome.”
“If you are here to steal my treasure, then I advise you to flee,
For if you should try I shall eat you all, you have my guarantee.”
“No mighty Akhulphiich that is not why we have come to your catacomb,
We would not think to take a piece of gold or a page from a tome.
We, Sar’s Heroes, are here on behalf of the Grippli, I promise thee,
They are beset by a monster who is killing their shafting giving tree.”
“You are entertaining gnome, I am usually unbelieveably bored,
For all day and night I sit, guarding an ever mounting treasure hoard.
I will answer your question, but first for each of you a difficult task.”
As the dragon spoke, my horror, I poorly attempted to mask.
“One must defeat me three times, using only weapon or sword.
Two must steal from the boggles a magic glove will be the reward.
Two must take a gem from the giants,” in our fear he continued to bask,
“And two more must recover a scroll from a lich, that is the price to ask.”
After much discussion, which is common, we went our separate ways,
Keliana and Sun-Ok head off into the boggles boggling maze.
The two dwarves headed for the gem, thinking they’d get rich,
Belferon agreed to fight the dragon right there in this dark ditch.
For his bravery, we all gave heroioc Belferon wonderous praise,
Honestly I just wanted to escape, away from the dragon’s hungry gaze.
Last of all, Walis and I were to get a scroll from an undead Lich,
UNDEAD!! On second thought is there anyone who’d like to switch?April 22, 2008 at 12:28 am #55470
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part V Akhulfiich’s Biich: Part II Ode to a Dragonslayer
I wouldn’t have believed it, how could this task ever be completed?
Let me share with you a tale of bravery, how the mighty Akhulfiich was defeated.
The massive dragon reared is scaley head and visciously roared,
The dragonslayer calmly walked towards it, drawing his acidic long sword.
And so I hid behind a rock, when I heard the great wyrm’s fierce sound,
The dragonslayer never flinched, with a single blow he knocked the dragon to the ground.
The dragonslayer defeated him thrice, though the dragon continued to respawn,
He was victorious! All hail the mighty dragonslayer Belferon!April 23, 2008 at 6:23 am #55471
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part V Akhulfiich’s Biich: Part III The Hero of Yar’s Underground
Again I asked, how could this difficult task ever be completed?
I can tell you how, but you can’t tell Akhulfiich, okay we cheated.
We added a little help, so instead of the two of us there were three,
We were better off with more, Walis, Voran Falcona and of course me.
It seemed they left with out me as the process was repeated,
I had been sleeping, all this adventure left my energy depleted.
So I arrived at the crypt all by myself, wanting to turn and flee,
Here’s a little tip for avoiding the undead, invisibility is the key.
I snuck past some smelly zombies as the tomb I began to explore,
Then I heard a disturbance from behind a sealed stone door.
I crept over to get a torch to see, passing the zombie’s who groan,
When I touched the bracket the door opened, who would have known?
Walis and Voran were saved, as certain death had been in store,
That’s one heroic deed for Portales for those of you keeping score.
The three of us searched the crypt all the way to the lich’s throne,
There were zombies and phantoms and even an evil Aelswith clone.
We decided to spread out, difficult to search in a gaggle or a bunch,
I took this opportunity to find an empty room and break for lunch.
No zombies in here, good then there won’t be an undead attack,
I just wanted to find somewhere safe, where I could sit and snack.
Preparing to sit on the floor behind a pillar, I tripped with a crunch,
It would seem there was something under my feet, I had a hunch.
I had found that demonic scroll in an old delapidated gold sack,
Now I could finish my lunch in peace, they would cut me some slack.
I found my companions as I had exciting new that I must report,
Noone was interested, Voran dismissed me, “tell me later Port.”
We found the fierce Walis as the many many zombies he had slain,
With death and undeath around, my strength was beginning to drain.
So we left that old creepy crypt, our search had been quite short,
See I had tried to tell Voran, but he thought I wasn’t the sort,
Once we were safe, told them about the scroll I managed to obtain,
They shouted and cheered, it seemed old Portales was the hero again.April 23, 2008 at 6:23 am #55472
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part V Akhulfiich’s Biich: Part IV Sun-Ok Beheads the Boggle King
Keliana and Sun-Ok traveled deep into the heart of the ogre’s mine,
And with the boggle’s tunnels, the ogre’s mine shafts intertwine.
They had smashed through the ogre fort, which lie in ruins above,
If there is one thing Kel likes it’s fighting, you might even say love.
The boggles stood firing arrows and were killed standing in a line,
I would say Kel killed the most, the last count was over ninety-nine.
Sun snuck behind the king, and his head she was able to get rid of,
That’s what I happened when Kel and Sun stole the boggle’s glove.April 23, 2008 at 6:23 am #55473
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part V Akhulfiich’s Biich: Part V The Giant’s Giant Gem
Durok got the gem, I don’t know how, didn’t say,
I doubt he’d tell me, he doesn’t like me anywayApril 23, 2008 at 6:24 am #55474
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part VI It Really Bugs Me
I was awoken much too early for my tastes, just after dawn,
They gave Frank his ingredients and he prattled on and on.
I interupted him just a few times, tried my best to behave,
When someone else is talking, boredom washes over me like a wave.
Finally Frank finished yapping and I let out a satisfying yawn,
Once again, to that infested old root cave, our paths were drawn.
Using the poisonous gas and weapons the grippli’s had gave,
We did our best and sent that giant root sucker to the grave.
Obviously, for Frank, killing the monster was not good enough,
He didn’t seem all that grateful and asked us to get a bunch of stuff.
He had a whole list, of all kinds of junk and would you believe fish,
The next thing you know we will be serving him with a golden dish.
To go out and collect all these things was going to be too tough,
I have more important things to do, besides it was mostly fluff.
Pretended to write it all down, so Frank thought he’d get his wish,
I hightailed it right outta there, you could hear my shoes “swish!”.April 26, 2008 at 6:48 am #55475
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part VII Sar’s Heroes/Sar’s Thieves
Frank says we must travel far to the North to Sar Khan’s House,
To recover four old paintings, in the possesion of Sar’s spouse,
We travel through the forest to Sar house, but noone is there,
I do know that Faith is upset with him she thinks he had an affair.
I warned them, but they decide to break in, I feel like a louse,
No a chance that Sar’s burning fury will they be able to douse.
When coming upon Sar’s home I warn the others to beware,
Sleeping just around the corner is Brother, a ferocious dire bear.
Brother awakes and attacks and Voran slices one of his hind legs,
The bear will be fine I am sure, besides he can always get pegs.
Things get worse, Durok hacks away at the front door with an axe,
Then Sun is hoisted up through the window, and the frame cracks.
Sar’s Heroes are supposed to be top notch heroes, not the dregs,
Sar may never forgive Voran for hurting his bear, even if he begs.
Then there is Kel, into splinters two separate doors she wacks,
And all through out the entire house she left a trail of muddy tracks.
For what it’s worth, I refused to aid Sar’s Heroes commit their crime,
Eventually I did enter the front door, through no window did I climb.
See I waited and I waited, and didn’t go in, I remained just outside,
This was the hero Sar Khan’s home, where he and his family reside.
Out front I started to write a song, but I couldn’t get it to rhyme,
I was worrying, they’d looked for the paintings for quite a long time,
They were all searching, four of those paintings Belferon had spied,
Each painting had a message scrawled on the canvas’ backside.April 27, 2008 at 7:10 am #55476
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part VII Sar’s Heroes/Sar’s Thieves Part II A Belching Hole
We found the hole described on the back of the painting they stole,
To cure the dying shaft giving tree from this blight was our goal.
Down we went to a horrible green belching chasm that was vast,
Walis tossed MacGregor’s Lantern in which landed with a blast.
Using jars of graveyard dirt, the flames Traudek was able to control,
And Kel fanning cool glacial ice put out the remaining fire in the hole.
I had naturally hidden behind a large boulder, moving incredibly fast,
We had completed the second of the healing trials at last.April 27, 2008 at 10:34 pm #55477
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part VII Sar’s Heroes/Sar’s Thieves Part III Sar’s Heroes/Sar’s Peeved
Oh no! My favorite hero, Sar, is peeved, a vicious note he did scrawl,
A good indication of his anger, he used a dagger to pin it to the wall.
When Faith and Sar returned home, they certainly didn’t smile,
Though I left a note explaining things and Sun left some gold in a pile,
I do hope that Sar isn’t upset with me, for my part was very small,
The rest of Sar’s heroes won’t be so lucky; he’s going to smash them all.
What could be even worse, we could get arrested, there’d be a trial.
I don’t want any part of that, perhaps I should lay low for awhile.May 6, 2008 at 10:17 pm #55478
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part VIII The Lake of Goo
Sar found his heroes at the Red Dragon, he was quite upset,
He may have thrown out a little profanity and even a threat.
Faith was also extremely angered, Sar’s lovely sorceress wife,
This was a delicate situation, balanced on the edge of a knife.
I was a little nervous when he was yelling, I started to sweat,
A few of them were indifferent, convinced they’d paid their debt.
I tried to assure Sar they were just trying to save the tree’s life,
But Sar wouldn’t listen, storming out, ending all of the strife.
Later we hiked over to Sar’s house to apologize and make amends,
I reminded that grumpy dwarf Durok to say nothing that offends.
The others, needed to look at things from Sar’s point of view,
They had broken into his house, an apology was long overdue.
Much to my surprise a genuine sincere apology Durok entends,
Sar accepts his apology, once again Sar and his heroes are friends.
After a little friendly chatter and warm hugs are finally through,
Sar’s wife Faith insists we join them for dinner, we’re having stew!
After dinner we headed out to look for another of those dank holes,
To the Eastern Narlynwik, an area that the goblin king controls.
We searched for a log cabin, that’s if Frank’s instructions are true,
Many battles were fought as wave after wave of goblins we slew.
We found the cabin after we’d waded through all of the goblin patrols,
This was the last of the caves, we were close to complete all of our goals.
Walis took forever as each ingredient he carefully individually threw.
Purify the water..Ha! It was more like a giant lake of smelly red goo.May 11, 2008 at 11:23 pm #55479
Perudo’s Evil Chair
Sun is Sitting On An Evil Chair
An angry seat That Steals The Air
My Stomach Hurts And I Don’t Care
What Do I See Across The Way
See Myself Molded In Clay
Stares At Me, Yeah I’m Afraid
Save her, what can I say
Two Lutes I Have A Pair
Shadows Dancing Everywhere
Burning On The Evil Chair
Little Gnome Made A Mistake
I want to push the evil chair away
All That I Want Is To Play
Get On Your Knees, Time To Pray
I Don’t Mind, Yeah
I Dont Mind, I-I-I
Lost My Mind, Yeah
But I Don’t Mind, I-I-I
Can’t Find It Anywhere
I Don’t Mind
The Red Dragon We Stay
I’m A Gnome, singing All Day
I can’t save her Anyway
Lonliness Is Not A Phase
Field Of Pain Is Where I Graze
Serenity Is Far Away
Saw My Reflection And Cried
So Little Hope That I Died
Feed Me Your Lies, Open Wide
Weight Of My Heart, Not The Size
I want to push the evil chair away
All That I Want Is To Play
Get On Your Knees Time To PrayMay 18, 2008 at 11:27 pm #55480
Sar’s Heroes and the Shaft Giver: Part IX The Key to Arik
The heroes set out for the lost City of Arik with Durok in the lead,
Our quest was to find an ancient section of the city and a lost seed.
It didn’t start out so well as we ran head first into an alhoon patrol,
I managed to stay alive by hiding behind Voran, who hid behind a pole.
Our enemies moved on so with our quest we were able to proceed,
Arik is thick with mindflayers, they must have started to breed.
Battling (and hiding from )the mindcontrolers definitely took a toll,
We were able to regroup after using many a raise dead scroll.
For some reason Sar’s Heroes like to stand around and debate,
Not the best idea, when around the corner danger could await.
We sought out the temple of Njord looking for a magical sash,
I of course found the temple and entered, though I may have been rash.
The main room was filled with elementals, I counted atleast eight,
Perhaps Njord thought his temple we were going to desecrate.
With the water elementals our swords (and my songs) did clash,
Found those magic sashes in a pool, I dove in with a great splash.
Next we headed to the temple of Loki, it was dark and full of gloom,
Where I managed to accidently intentionally find a secret room.
Within the secret chamber I found a treasure chest with an old key,
After some debating, the key was important, we would all agree.
Outside we tangled with a mad priest, MacGregor I presume,
After defeating him again, our quest we were able to resume.
We still had much to accomplish if we were going to save the tree,
It also seemed a hero was emerging in this quest, that would be me.
The Key opened another building filled with many a hill giant,
They were savage and unfriendly, they certainly weren’t compliant.
More giants we battled as we descended deeper into their lair,
Luckily we had caught their leader by surpise, he was unaware.
The massive red giant fell, to the end he was fiercely deifant,
Once again it was up to me, my skills they had become reliant.
I located another secret chamber while trying to fix my hair,
Behind a broken mirror I found the next key, that is where.
It surely seemed, for once, we were actually on the right track,
The key open a grate to another locked building, around the back.
This place was quite confusing and I would have loved to have a map,
I can tell you that each of us stumpled into atleast one deadly trap.
On top of all the traps on the ground, demons began to attack,
It would’ve been helpful if Sun disarmed the traps and picked up some slack.
Belferon had been here before, but he could not remember crap,
He did have a combo to a door written down, I was forced to clap.
We traveled up some stairs through many great stone halls,
Slavers kept attacking, seemed they were coming from the walls.
After all of this adventuring Sar’s heroes were beaten down,
I wanted nothing more than a good slumber at the inn in town.
At the top of the spire a massive dragon statue sprawls,
Inside the statue Belferon placed his two glass blue balls.
The statue slowly opened and produced an ornate crown,
We accomplished much, for our deeds we will gain great renoun.
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