You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If…..

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  • #32718
    vlan2k
    Moderator
    • Markshire PCs:

    . . . that “disturbance in the Force” was just last night’s baked beans.
    . . . you call your young apprentice, “Juner.(JR.)”
    . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.
    . . . you call Yoda your Li’l green buddy.
    . . . your X-Wing has a still in it.
    . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.
    . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.
    . . . you use Jawas for drink holders.
    . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.
    . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.
    . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.
    . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.
    . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
    . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.
    . . . your father has ever said to you, “Shoot, son, come on over t’ the dark side…it’ll be a hoot.”
    . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.
    . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.
    . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.
    . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.
    . . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
    . . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.
    . . . your master ever said “My finger you will pull..hmmm?”
    . . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
    . . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
    . . . wookies are offended by your B.O.
    . . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn’t have to wait for a commercial.
    . . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
    . . . you’ve got a stuffed womp rat from Begger’s Canyon on your mantle.
    . . . you’ve used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.
    . . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.
    . . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
    . . . you ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.”
    . . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.
    . . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.
    . . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.
    . . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.
    . . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper.
    . . . you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!”

    #54585
    muddy
    Member
    • Markshire PCs:

    lightsabre as a bug zapper is my favorite… well, because bug zappers are just damn fun any way you look at ’em.

    #54586
    Osay
    Member
    • Markshire PCs:

    @vlan2k wrote:

    . . . you hear . . . “Luke, I am your father . . . and your uncle!”

    😆

    #54587
    Lt. Tyler
    Keymaster
    • Markshire PCs:

    So many good ones, but I particularly liked this:

    . . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

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